Recently, I was sitting in a coffee shop at a table with my Bible open. One of the workers there, Andrew, arrived early for his shift, so he came over to chat. He enjoys reading his Bible, so we ended up discussing some things in the Scriptures and then some topics about life.
As we were talking, a man walked up and wanted to know about the Bible. He asked, “Do you guys study it?” and things like that. Brian said he was a believer and told me which church he attended. I tried to bless him with a book and encourage him in soul-winning, but he didn’t want any materials. He left and went back to the table where his wife was sitting. They ended up leaving the coffee shop.
A little over an hour later, I was putting on my coat and getting ready to leave when suddenly, Brian walked back up to me. His wife had gone to dinner with a friend, and he wanted to talk. Well, it ended up being one of those two-hour conversations—the kind of conversation that you know God had set up beforehand, and you just needed to be obedient and follow through.
His wife is talking about divorcing him. He is 42, and she is 38. He wants to have kids, and she doesn’t. They have been married for seven years.
Examining the Scriptures
Let’s delve into this topic a bit. It will probably stir some things up, but that isn’t always a bad thing. Now, if you were stirring things up just to stir things up, that is not good. That would be a total waste of time and energy. But if the Bible takes a clear position on a topic, then that topic is worth discussing.
Malachi 2:14-16
Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
When God says that He hates the “putting away,” He is saying that He hates divorce. Whenever a man and a woman come together in marriage, God hates the breaking of that covenant. That seems pretty clear to me. And that should be our starting point. If God hates divorce, then we should hate divorce. We should not want to see people in a marital covenant get divorced. They got married because they loved each other, and it should stay that way. And, in a correct biblical marriage, that marriage is a covenant before Almighty God. Thank goodness that God does not break covenant with us. And if He doesn’t break covenant with us, then we should not break one of the most solemn covenants we make in life before Him.
Perhaps God is more involved in the marriage covenant than we might think. After all, He is the One who makes joins the two into one. Married people tell me there is something very real that happens when they take their vows. They say that God really does make the two into one flesh. Since He is the One who created the institution of marriage and joins husband and wife together, it makes sense that He cares very much about that couple keeping that covenant intact.
Priorities, Priorities
Since God hates divorce, divorce should be the last of the last resorts that a married couple should ever contemplate. If a couple gets to the point of thinking about a divorce, shouldn’t forgiveness and restoration be their utmost priority?
When I have talked with people about this topic, one thing I have challenged and/or encouraged them with is this: “Why did you get married?” Hopefully, people will say that God led them to come together, but at the very least they should say that they fell in love with the other person. That being the case, why would anyone or anything ever come between that love? And if anyone or anything came between that love, we would understand that division as coming from Satan and not from God. As Christians, we should never, ever, ever want Satan to win any of the battles in our lives.
The Fine Print
So, maybe we should ask whether there are any grounds for divorce? We can only go to one place for those answers: God’s holy Word, which has stood the test of time.
1 Corinthians 7:12-16
But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
If you are saved and your spouse is unsaved, stay with them. Let your love for Jesus shine through you every single day. There will be plenty of days where you’ll need to die to self as you wait on the Lord to work in your spouse’s life as well as your own. Our job is to remain faithful, selfless, and forgiving. And what is the ultimate goal? That your spouse will repent and believe.
Biblically, according to verse 15, if the unbelieving spouse wants to leave the marriage, it looks as if they can. But the better outcome is for the unbelieving spouse to be saved.
Next Time
Since the decision to marry carries such significance for the Lord and can affect the span of someone’s entire life, it’s important that we open the pages of Holy Writ for wisdom and guidance from the Lord.
So what does the Bible say about remarriage? Are there some exceptions to the rules? Does everyone understand the verses that are before them? Let’s bring some clarity to more of this subject in Part 2, which comes out on Wednesday. So go ahead and hold your questions and comments until you read Part 2, which might answer some of those questions you have. So hold your responses and questions until after you have read Part 2. And remember to use Scripture when you respond.
Until the nets are full,
P.S.
